If you are a teenager, there is a widerange of services to support you when you are pregnant and afteryou've had your baby. If you're pregnant on your own, it's even more
important that there are people with whom you can share your feelings
and who can offer you support.
A Message from a Teen Mom: How I Did It!
In today's world being a teenage girl is difficult. The pressure to
get good grades, fit in with your peers, and figure out who you are,
places an increased amount of stress on an already out of control
situation. Many girls who find themselves pregnant while dealing
with these issues Will give up. Making it through this trying time
can seem hopeless, but giving up is not the answer. How do I know?
Because I have been their at seventeen, I was concentrating on my
future.I wanted to go to my senior prom. I wanted to visit colleges.
I wanted to have fun with my friends at graduation. Then I found out
that I was pregnant, and all of my dreams seemed to dissolve in one
fell swoop. I thought that I was going to have to quit school and
give up on my dreams, but I was not raised to be a quitter.I now own
my own home, and that baby girl that I had 15 years ago, well, she
is a beautiful and talented individual with just as many hopes and
dreams as I had.Now that the motivational speech is over, where do
you start?
Young people who can talk about sex with their parents tend to
delay having sex and are more likely to use contraception when
they do. However you may find the idea slightly awkward, or you
may not know where to start. Here are some tips to help you on
your way.
Basic Needs (Before birth planning)
First and foremost, you need to make sure that your basic needs are
covered. Pre-natal care, nutritious food, and appropriate housing are an
absolute necessity. Some girls in this situation may have family and friends
that can offer them help, but if not, there are many federal, state, and local agencies that exist for the sole purpose of helping people get back on their feet.
Housing of urban development
(HUD) is a federal agency that can often times help to locate residencies for those
in need. They also provide financial assistance in many situations to help
pay the rent. Check out their website here
www.hud.gov.
Help with groceries can also be found in many places. One such place is Women, Infants, and Children, or WIC for short. This agency supplies coupons to low income families for items like milk, eggs, cheese, and carrots. They also help to subsidize the baby's food after birth. Applying is very easy, and the benefits to your healthy pregnancy are worth the extra effort. Their website can be found at http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/aboutwic/
course food stamps may also be necessary for a time, but they aren't meant to be a
permanent solution. Once the baby is born and the mom has had time to heal, searching for a job and child care should be top priority.When pregnant medical care is more important than most people realize. Many people think that because women have healthy babies everyday, there little chance of something going horribly wrong. That is a complete fallacy, especially in young mothers. Vitamin deficiencies can cause a number of disorders in a fetus, and pregnant women need a larger amount of many minerals as well. Even without medical insurance prenatal care is available. State and local health departments have physicians on staff that will perform a complete exam and offer advice to help keep both baby and mom as healthy as possible.
Post Delivery Needs and Planning
Once mom has had time to heal, job hunting should be the next objective. To be able to do this, there needs to be someone to watch the baby. Subsidized child care is available in most localities if there is no family member able to assist. Call your local public assistance office and inquire about the benefits available in your area. Once child care is secured, it's off to job hunting. Don't be afraid to start on the bottom. If as a pregnant teen you have gotten this far, you can obviously fight for what you want. Work at McDonald's for minimum wage for a while, you never know where this will lead you. Search the want ads. Look for job fairs. Research on-line opportunities. You'll find a job, even if it is not your dream job.Don't stop there. Once you have secured employment, decide what you really want to do with the rest of your life. Are you interested in a certain field or profession? If so, look into financial aide to help you take some classes. There are so many grants out there for people who need them, and you are one of those people. No one has ever died from working to hard, trust me I know. I worked 3
part-time jobs to get through college. Of coarse I didn't see much of my daughter then, but that was a short 4 years, and now I have the financial ability to put a roof over her head, and food in her mouth, without the help of the government. If you have a dream you can achieve it. Just put your mind to it!
Sorting out problems, whether personal or medical, is often difficult when
you are by yourself, and it's better to find someone to talk to than let
things get you down. For more information, see Coping if you're alone.
Your midwife or health visitor will be able to give you details of local
services. The following national organisations can also give you help
and advice.
· Sex-wise. If you think you may be pregnant, you can get confidential advice
from the Sexwise helpline on 0800 282930 or get further information from
the ruthinking website.
· Brook. If you are under 25, you can visit a Brook centre for free, confidential
advice. To find your nearest centre, go to the Brook website or call the
national Ask Brook Helpline on 0800 0185 023.
· Connexions. Teenagers in England can get help and advice from the
Connexions service. You have the offer of support from a personal adviser
to help deal with the variety of issues so that you can make the best choices
for your future. You can find Connexions advisers in a variety of places,
including schools, colleges, one-stop shops and through youth and
community projects.
For confidential personal advice, practical help or details of your local
Connexions service phone Connexions Direct, on 080 800 13219,
text 07766 413 219 or go to the Connexions website.
The Young Woman's Guide to Pregnancy
The Young Woman's Guide to Pregnancy is written specifically for women under the
age of 20 and includes the real pregnancy experiences of young mums. It is
produced by Tommy's and is available free to teenagers through the
Tommy's website.
Carrying on with your education
Becoming a mother doesn't have to mean the end of your education. If you are still
of compulsory school age (i.e. any time before the last Friday in June of the year
of your 16th birthday) your school should not exclude you on grounds of pregnancy
or health and safety issues connected with your pregnancy, although they may
arrange alternative provision. If this is the case, they will talk with you about it.
You will be allowed up to 18 calendar weeks off school before and after the birth.
After your return to education, you can receive help with childcare costs through the
Care to Learn scheme. Care to Learn also provides support with childcare costs for
teenager parents above compulsory school age wanting to take up learning. You
may also be eligible for the Education Maintenance Allowance (EMA), available for
those above compulsory school age, which provides up to £30 a week. For more
information about EMA and Care to Learn phone 0800 121 8989 or visit the
Directgov website.
Somewhere to live
Many young mothers want to carry on living with their own family until they are
ready to move on. If you are unable to live with your family, your local authority
may be able to help you with housing. Some local authorities provide specialised
accommodation where young mothers can live independently while getting
support and advice from trained workers. For more information about housing,
contact your local authority
Tell the Father and Your Parents ASAP
Pregnant teens often wait to tell others of their pregnancy because they are afraid
of how others will react. It is important to tell the father of the child and your
parents right away if you find yourself pregnant. The earlier you tell, the longer
they have time to get used to the idea before the baby arrives. More importantly,
the earlier you confide your secret, the earlier you can begin receiving prenatal care.
Prenatal care is extremely important, and even more so for teens because of extra
risks involved in teen pregnancies.
Educate Yourself
Most teenagers are not well educated on pregnancy and parenting. To help you feel
more comfortable about your pregnancy and upcoming parenthood, read as many
pregnancy and parenting books and magazines as you can while pregnant. An
excellent resource for all mothers-to-be is What to Expect When You're Expecting by
Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg, and Sandee Hathaway. Subscriptions to pregnancy
and parenting magazines are also helpful. Baby-talk is a free magazine available to
all expectant and new mothers. You can subscribe online with the link listed in the
resources below.
Earn Money Now
If you are old enough to legally work, take advantage of the next few months to earn
any money that you can. Once your child is here, you may not be able to work as
frequently if you can work at all. So, now is the time to save as much money as possible.
Make Sure to Have a Baby Shower
Hopefully, you will be lucky enough to have a loved one throw you a shower. If not,
throw yourself one. Your baby deserves to be celebrated like any other child. Plus,
you will need all you can get. Try to refrain from buying baby items until after your shower.
Accept Help
All mothers need help. Do not be ashamed to accept generous offers of clothing, cash, baby items, or childcare. Surround yourself with those offering love and support, and keep your distance from anyone that is bringing you down.
Balance
The hardest part about being a teen mother is struggling to find your own identity while
shaping the life of another human being. While you should not let motherhood stand in
the way of your dreams, if you make the decision to be a mother, your dreams will likely
alter. You have to balance what you want and need with what your child will want and need. Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy and this new stage of your life.
Finding out you're pregnant can be daunting, especially if the pregnancy was unplanned.
You may feel a lot of different emotions, thoughts and anxieties. You may be excited about the prospect of having a child, you could be worried about telling your parents, or you may not be sure if you want to have the baby.These mixed emotions are common for women of any age. Remember that you're not alone, and there are plenty of people who can help you.
Make sure you're pregnant
The first thing you need to do is make sure you're definitely pregnant. Home pregnancy
test kits are usually accurate, but it is best to visit your GP or Community Contraceptive Clinic. They can check for pregnancy by testing your urine. If you are pregnant, they can tell you how long you've been pregnant, and assess your general health (for example, checking whether your blood pressure and weight are healthy).
It's your choice
Once you've found out you're pregnant, think carefully about what is best for you. If you're not sure what to do, remember that it's your choice. You must make the decision that is right for you. But don't delay this decision. Don't ignore the situation and hope it will go away, because it won't. Everybody is different, so try not to let other people push you into a decision. Take time to think carefully, talk to people you trust, and get advice from a professional. People you can talk to include:
· Your GP or nurse.
· A contraception and sexual health clinic.
· A young people's service. Get details of young people's services from Brook on
www.brook.org.uk or 0800 0185 023, or from Sex-wise at www.ruthinking.co.uk
or 0800 28 29 30.
· Your partner or a friend or family member who you trust.
· fpa (formerly the Family Planning Association) on 0845 122 8690.
Find out what your choices are. You need to have accurate information so that you can talk about your options and think carefully before you make any decisions.Call NHS Direct on 0845 4647 for information and advice.
Pregnancy myths
I can’t get pregnant just after my period has finished.If you don't use contraception when you have sex, you can get pregnant at any time during your menstrual cycle, even while you have your period. You can also get pregnant if you've never had a period before, or if it's your first period or the first time you have had sex.
There is no safe time of the month when you can have sex without contraception and not get pregnant. However, there are times of the month when you're more fertile (likely to get pregnant) than others. Ovulation (when eggs are released from your ovaries) usually occurs 10-16 days before the start of your next period, and this is when you're most likely to get pregnant.
You're therefore much less likely to get pregnant if you have sex just after your period has finished. But it's important to remember that sperm can survive in the body for up to seven days after ejaculation.
If your period lasts seven days, when it finishes you may be five days away from ovulating again. If you ovulate early, then there will be even less time between the end of your last period and the time when you're fertile again.
Natural family planning is when a couple uses the woman's menstrual cycle as a form of contraception (that is, by not having sex during fertile times). However, this is not a reliable method as sperm can survive for up to seven days inside the body. This method also doesn't protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs).
You can't get pregnant without penetration.Pregnancy occurs when a Male's sperm burrows into a female egg (fertilisation). This sperm is one of millions that are contained in a man's semen (the liquid produced when a man ejaculates or 'comes'). The egg is released from one of the woman's ovaries (ovulation) 12 to 15 days before her next period starts.
Millions of sperm are also contained in the liquid produced by the penis as soon as it is erect (hard). This means that a man doesn't have to ejaculate for pregnancy to occur.
Sperm enters the woman's body through the vagina, then travels through the cervix and the womb to the fallopian tubes, where the egg is fertilised.
It is possible for a woman to get pregnant without having sexual intercourse (penetration) if any sperm gets into the vagina. For example, a woman can get pregnant if there is sperm on her fingers and she puts them into her vagina.
However, the chances of becoming pregnant in this way are very small because sperm can only live for a very short period of time outside the human body (a few minutes if it's left to dry out, or a few hours if wet).
Pregnancy can also happen if the man ejaculates close to the entrance of the vagina, or
if his erect penis comes into contact with the woman's body near the vagina.
The chance of getting pregnant in this way is much smaller than having penetrative sex.
But in some cases, it is possible to get pregnant this way.
If you think sperm could come in contact with the vagina in any way, the best way to avoid pregnancy is to use contraception. Only condoms can provide protection against both pregnancy and STIs. The condom must be put on the penis as soon as it is erect to
prevent any sperm from coming into contact with the vagina.
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Teen Pregnancy
